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literature
letter he'll never send
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Literature Text
Do you remember when we first met? It was my millionth foster home - your first. And you were so scared, and your eyes were puffy and your skin was like paper and you clung for dear life to the blonde social worker with the pretty smile. And then she left; I remember thinking you looked like you were drowning.
You know, I was so glad we ended up being roommates. All I ever really wanted to do was take care of you. I wanted to know you, I wanted to understand you, I wanted to be the person you needed so badly in your life. And I can't believe we were both only nine; when I think about it, it seems like we must have been so much older.
But you were always old for your age.
And I remember how no one but me ever heard your voice. You talked in glares and growls, and sometimes you sounded so feral I could swear they'd just taken you out of the jungle. And you'd talk to me, and smile and laugh, and it killed me because I could always see how amazing you were. But no one else could.
And looking at you now no one would ever know you'd been like that - you talk nonstop and you smile at everyone and if I didn't know better I'd think you were really happy.
But I do know better.
I know that when you really smile you get little dimples in your cheeks. I know that when you really laugh you tilt your head back, like you want to send the sound out into the universe. I know you're still smoking, even though you told me you quit. And I know you've got a box full of suicide notes under your bed, written a thousand different ways, so that when you're ready you can just go.
And you think I don't know. You think you're so clever, you think I'm satisfied with the fake smiles, you think I can't tell when you're lying, you must think I'm so fucking stupid
god, why can't you just talk to me
i'm so fucking scared you'll
i don't know how to end this stupid assignment
would you listen to me if i
you promised you'd never leave me
I love you.
Fuck.
You know, I was so glad we ended up being roommates. All I ever really wanted to do was take care of you. I wanted to know you, I wanted to understand you, I wanted to be the person you needed so badly in your life. And I can't believe we were both only nine; when I think about it, it seems like we must have been so much older.
But you were always old for your age.
And I remember how no one but me ever heard your voice. You talked in glares and growls, and sometimes you sounded so feral I could swear they'd just taken you out of the jungle. And you'd talk to me, and smile and laugh, and it killed me because I could always see how amazing you were. But no one else could.
And looking at you now no one would ever know you'd been like that - you talk nonstop and you smile at everyone and if I didn't know better I'd think you were really happy.
But I do know better.
I know that when you really smile you get little dimples in your cheeks. I know that when you really laugh you tilt your head back, like you want to send the sound out into the universe. I know you're still smoking, even though you told me you quit. And I know you've got a box full of suicide notes under your bed, written a thousand different ways, so that when you're ready you can just go.
And you think I don't know. You think you're so clever, you think I'm satisfied with the fake smiles, you think I can't tell when you're lying, you must think I'm so fucking stupid
I love you.
Fuck.
Not sure how interesting this is out of context - it was sort of a character development thing for the bigger story I'm working on.
I was imagining this as the narrator doing a writing assignment for English - something along the lines of 'Write a letter you'll never send'.
Comments are loved
I was imagining this as the narrator doing a writing assignment for English - something along the lines of 'Write a letter you'll never send'.
Comments are loved
© 2011 - 2024 aprilwednesday
Comments13
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I just kept on staring at the last word... I don't really know how to describe the feeling it gave me.. but this really is a wonderfully written piece.... damn...